Virgin Island Water (Creed, 2006, Olivier & Erwin Creed)

Coconut, lime, musk, bergamot, mandarin, ylang ylang, jasmine.

I loved the initial citric zing that came out of the bottle. I loved the distinctly Caribbean pina colada smell when it was on my skin. I was delighted half an hour later when I felt surrounded by coconut, tropical woods and man-sweat. "This is amazing!" I thought. "I really do smell like the Virgin Islands!"

And yet, two hours later and I smell... not really so good. There's still pina colada, but it smells plasticky and cheap, like Superdrug hair gel. It isn't unpleasant, but somehow, it just doesn't smell real. In fact, it smells an awful lot like the coconut fragrance that they pipe into The Mirage casino in Las Vegas, except less sweet, more bitter. I don't hate it... but I don't like it much, either.

I won't be buying a bottle of this any time soon.